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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28016181">Two Sides of the Same Coin</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/frosty_grass/pseuds/frosty_grass'>frosty_grass</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode: s01e10 The Moment of Truth, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Quote-inspired, help me idk how to tag, mini-scenes, no beta we die like men, s1e10, sorta canon compliant i guess?, they should really just kiss already tho, this is my first post be kind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:22:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,162</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28016181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/frosty_grass/pseuds/frosty_grass</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mini-scenes taking place during S1E10: The Moment of Truth, inspired by my favourite quotes from the episode!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Two Sides of the Same Coin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ahh this is my first post on AO3 so be kind! I wanted to write a series of short scenes based off my fave quotes/moments in one of my fave episodes, where the gang all go to Ealdor to defend it from Kanen and his men. This was an episode where I really felt the growing chemistry between Merls and Arthur so I wanted to see if I could write a little from each of their perspectives! Not sure its got much plot but I’m not sure that ‘plot’ was the point of writing….whatever this is haha</p>
<p>Obviously all quotes from the show aren’t mine, they are credited to the writers (Julian Jones/Johnny Capps/Jake Michie/Julian Murphy).</p>
<p>P.S. I really hope the formatting works for italics and such...*fingers crossed*</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The uneven ground dug into Arthur’s back no matter how much he fidgeted. No amount of training could prepare a man for the uncomfortable struggle of sleeping on a hard stone floor, Arthur thought.</p>
<p>Yet Merlin had done this his whole life before he came to Camelot. In fact, Merlin’s whole life was now on display for Arthur to sift through and examine – his home, his mother, his friends. The fields he had grown up running around in, wild and carefree, before whatever caused him to no longer fit in here had pushed him away from the rolling hills and trees and towards Camelot. Towards Arthur. Arthur offered a silent prayer, thanking the universe for creating whatever circumstance had brought Merlin to Camelot.</p>
<p>He could tell from Merlin’s breathing that the man was still awake, but didn’t dare strike up a conversation for fear of waking Morgana or Guinevere or Hunith. It had been a long ride to Ealdor and a stressful day; they needed their sleep. Besides, the words they had exchanged before settling down to sleep had given Arthur enough to ruminate on. Merlin’s life was so different to his own, in so many ways. From the day of his birth Arthur had been pampered and looked after and treated like – well, like royalty. Full breakfasts and soft feather pillows bookended his days as a child, and although he had more responsibilities now he was of age, he still enjoyed as many home comforts as he could wish for. Many of them came at the expense of Merlin’s time and energy.</p>
<p>Merlin, meanwhile…had grown up with nothing. <em>Life’s simple out here. You eat what you grow and everyone pitches in together…as long as you’ve got food on the table and a roof over your head you’re happy. </em></p>
<p>Arthur had tried his best to sound unenthused at the prospect of a simpler life, but now as he lay under his cloak, eyes shut against the moonlight, he couldn’t help but envision what it would be like. A tiny house with a wooden door, a soil patch outside for growing vegetables. No big decisions affecting the lives of hundreds of people, no overbearing and ever-disappointed father breathing down his neck. Maybe he should run away – come to stay here with Merlin, and just enjoy the simplicity of it all.</p>
<p>His chest tightened a little at the thought. It would be perfectly possible – he could simply tell his father not to look for him, and leave. Come here, to Ealdor, pretend to be someone he isn’t and accept himself for who he is. He was on the verge of kicking Merlin’s shoulder to wake him, so he could share in his excitement, when reality set in, and he swallowed his disappointment. He knew the meaning of duty, and his duty was not to himself but to his father and the people of Camelot. Only recently he had sworn his life to the service of his father’s kingdom.</p>
<p>The dream faded quickly from his imagination, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut tighter and lay still. At some point, exhaustion overcame him and he fell into a deep sleep.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It was in the cold nights spent huddled on the floor in his old home at Ealdor that Merlin took stock of all that had happened to him since the last time he had laid his head here. A new home, new friends, and new job as the servant to the arrogant, self-centred and unfairly good-looking Prince of Camelot left him with a lot to sift through – and that was before he even considered his destiny.</p>
<p>Merlin sighed, and rolled onto his back, staring up at the tiny slivers of moonlight that weaved their way through the thatched roof. He could hear the breeze rustling through the village outside, and the steady breaths of his companions as they slept. His mind wandered back to the night previous when he had been awoken by the far-off thundering of hooves through the forest. He smiled, holding back a bubble of laughter at the memory of his shock and relief to hear Arthur’s voice behind him, taunting him, when he had been anticipating an ambush. Arthur had gone against his father’s word and ridden out alone, in the middle of the night, to catch up with Merlin and his mother, Gwen and Morgana. God knows what consequences awaited him when they returned to Camelot, but here he was, fast asleep and snoring gently on the floor of Merlin’s childhood home.</p>
<p>Merlin shifted again to get a better view of the prince. His usually sharp features were soft in sleep, golden hair reflecting the moonlight and broad chest rising and falling slowly. He looked so out of place – the future king of Camelot, asleep on the floor of a rickety little house in a tiny village. For a moment Merlin dared to think that maybe Arthur was here for his sake, instead of for his reputation and some childish warmongering. After all, they had become…something like friends, over the past few months. The relationship between them was more than just prince and manservant, even if neither of them would dare admit it to the other.</p>
<p>Their earlier conversation replayed itself in Merlin’s head over and over as he waited to fall asleep.</p>
<p>
  <em>Why’d you leave?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Things just…changed. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>How?</em>
</p>
<p>Arthur’s foot in his face had momentarily distracted Merlin from the weight of the secret bearing down on his shoulders, and brought a brief smile to his face.</p>
<p>
  <em>Come on, stop pretending to be interesting. Tell me. </em>
</p>
<p>Arthur had sounded so genuine that it had taken Merlin aback slightly. Since when did Arthur care about Merlin’s life story?</p>
<p>
  <em>I just didn’t fit in any more. I wanted to find somewhere that I did. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Had any luck?</em>
</p>
<p>Merlin hadn’t seen Arthur’s smile but he had heard it in his voice. <em>Yes, </em>Merlin had wanted to say. <em>I found you. </em>But instead, he had said something a little closer to the honest truth, even if it was a truth he didn’t particularly want to think about.</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m not sure yet.</em>
</p>
<p>Merlin let his mind – and eyes – wander over Arthur once more before doubt crashed over him again and he rolled over, squeezing his eyes shut and willing for sleep to come.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The next morning, Hunith managed to extract the truth from Merlin – a truth that even he was struggling to accept.</p>
<p>
  <em>Give him more credit than that, he likes you!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That’s because he doesn’t know me. And if he did, I would probably be dead by now.</em>
</p>
<p>Merlin had tried to disguise his uncertainty with humour, masking his sadness with a smile. But as ever, his mother had seen right through him. Yes, he was certain that himself and Arthur were friends. And yes, perhaps Merlin had fallen a little too hard for the golden-haired arrogant prince with a jawline you could cut yourself on. Maybe he had helped Arthur dress that morning not because he was paid to do so, but because it gave him a good excuse to be near the prince. But no matter how much he wanted to, Merlin couldn’t trust Arthur not to have him killed if he found out the truth. The man had spent twenty years growing up with Uther’s poisonous ideas of what magic was and was not; Arthur would have Merlin beheaded in a second if he knew of his powers, he was certain.</p>
<p>Merlin had swallowed the lump in his throat and headed out to the nearby woodlands with an axe, to take out his frustration on the nearest unfortunate tree.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>It didn’t take long for his emotions to be thrown into turmoil all over again. The prince was asleep beside him again and Merlin was trying his best to pretend that he was, too. But in the quiet night he couldn’t help but overhear Gwen and Morgana.</p>
<p>
  <em>Why do you think he came here?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The same reason we did. Merlin. Arthur may act like he doesn’t care but…he wouldn’t be here if he didn’t. </em>
</p>
<p>The words had Merlin’s heart beating so hard he was almost sure the girls could hear it. <em>Of course </em>Arthur cared for him, and he had been an idiot to ever doubt that. But was it enough to save his life if he had to reveal his magic?</p>
<p>His night’s sleep was fitful.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>
  <em>You did this! Look what you’ve done, you’ve killed him!</em>
</p>
<p>The words were like a blade right through Arthur’s heart. Matthew, who now lay dead on the floor among a gathering crowd of Ealdor’s villagers, had been on sentry duty at Arthur’s own request. Will was right, this was his doing.</p>
<p>Arthur had never felt so uncertain of himself – so many pairs of eyes stared at him, expecting him to defend his decision. But how could he, when he could barely hear himself think over the cries of the weeping woman who’s life he had singlehandedly just ruined?</p>
<p>He almost jumped out of his skin when Merlin, of all people, piped up in his defence. He had never felt so grateful for his raven-haired best friend – for that’s what he was quickly becoming, among so much else, Arthur’s <em>best friend</em> – and he took the moment of relief to gather his emotions and think of something to say. But Will’s reply was scathing.</p>
<p>
  <em>You’ve already killed one man. How many more need to die before you realise this is a battle that can’t be won?</em>
</p>
<p>Panic, guilt and shame settled into Arthur’s heart all in one go. He looked around, wide-eyed and uncertain, but couldn’t find any words. Maybe this had all been a mistake, maybe he had let his feelings for Merlin overtake his better judgements, maybe he should never have come here, maybe maybe <em>maybe – </em></p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Later, it was Merlin that convinced Arthur to stay.</p>
<p>Outside Hunith’s hut, Merlin had sat so close by Arthur that their shoulders had brushed together as they craned their necks to stare dejectedly at the makeshift training grounds. The little warmth that came from the contact spread all through Arthur’s body, and he felt just a little bit more grounded than he had done five minutes ago.</p>
<p>
  <em>And if he’s right?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He isn’t. </em>
</p>
<p>Merlin’s steady belief in him was so solid, so unwavering, that Arthur almost believed in himself too. He found no trace of dishonesty in Merlin’s bright eyes, no lie in his eager tone. Merlin trusted Arthur with the survival of his hometown, and that had to count for something.</p>
<p>
  <em>We’re going to stay, we’re going to fight, and we’re going to win!</em>
</p>
<p>Arthur felt for a moment as if Merlin knew something that he didn’t. He was so much like his mother, he thought. The pair of them were determined and kind and fiercely loyal. The eyes that met his now could just as easily have been Hunith’s. Arthur wondered momentarily whether he looked like his own mother had. Did he share her features, her personality? What would it have been like, growing up with a mother who loved him as much as Hunith clearly loved Merlin? Would Arthur have been a mummy’s boy like Merlin, if he’d have had the choice?</p>
<p>Shaking himself back into the present, he gritted his teeth against the biting wind, and made up his mind.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Merlin had long since made up his mind what he had to do. Will was right – he couldn’t abandon his family, friends and village in favour of staying in Arthur’s good books. Although he suspected that this might not be about remaining in Arthur’s favour so much as keeping his head firmly attached to his shoulders.</p>
<p>
  <em>And if he doesn’t accept me for who I am then…he’s not the friend that I hoped he was. </em>
</p>
<p>Merlin prayed beyond all reason that Arthur would at least give him the chance to explain, when he found out. If he had to die in order to save his village, then so be it. But he couldn’t let himself be put to death before telling Arthur the truth. He wouldn’t die a liar.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>
  <em>No, not today. Put on your own. </em>
</p>
<p>Arthur’s armour was all fastened to him before Merlin had even managed his wrist bracers. Arthur watched him for a moment, ill-fitting chainmail rustling softly as his skinny fingers fumbled with the buckle. It was almost comical to see Merlin in clothes more befitting a knight, but something kept Arthur from laughing. Perhaps it was the way that Merlin, usually all bright smiles and uncoordinated limbs, seemed so pensive and measured. He seemed to Arthur like a different version of Merlin – one he hadn’t seen before – willing to fight and die for his home village, for his mother, for his friends. Arthur now saw in Merlin the same courage that he often found in himself, and wondered how he’d been so blind as to ever miss it before. He took his time studying Merlin’s features, high cheekbones and pale skin and eyes the colour of a summer afternoon sky, committing them to memory in case the worst should happen to either of them today. Then, Arthur made a move that was a surprise even to himself. Wordlessly, he reached out and brushed Merlin’s fingers away, doing up the buckle with swift confidence. His hands lingered a moment too long on Merlin’s wrist, and as a result he missed the look of surprise and vulnerable affection that grew on Merlin’s face just as quickly as it was wiped away by the return of his guarded expression.</p>
<p>But when Arthur extended his arm, he didn’t miss Merlin’s hesitation before he took it.</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s been an honour. </em>
</p>
<p>Arthur watched Merlin, watched the uncertainty dissipate to be replaced with humility and a small smile. Then the moment was broken, and Arthur turned away to fiddle with his gloves. Merlin’s next words surprised him, although he grinned when he caught on to their meaning.</p>
<p>
  <em>Whatever happens out there today…please don’t think any differently of me.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I won’t. It’s alright to be scared, Merlin.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That’s not what I meant.</em>
</p>
<p><em>What is it? </em>Arthur pressed, suddenly curious as to what had prompted Merlin’s request. <em>If you’ve got something to say, now’s the time to say it.</em></p>
<p>And for a moment, he was going to say it. Whatever sudden truth had wanted to spill from Merlin’s lips, it was about to, and Arthur’s heart beat a little more rapidly in his chest as Merlin opened his mouth and –</p>
<p>
  <em>Arthur. They’ve crossed the river.</em>
</p>
<p>Whatever it had been was quickly forgotten.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>
  <em>Cume teoden!</em>
</p>
<p>Arthur’s heart stopped in his chest as he watched the swirling winds at Merlin’s feet climb and grow into a torrent of flying straw and leaves. He knew magic when he saw it, and this was magic. His stomach dropped like a brick, and he quickly began to feel nauseous. The thought crossed his mind that perhaps this was what Merlin had wanted to confess before the battle. Even just imagining such a betrayal hurt his heart; Merlin was all Arthur ever thought about and to even entertain the idea, however briefly, that this man might be a sorcerer cut him to the bone. His anger and hurt were quickly channelled into something more productive, though, as a shout from behind him drew his gaze.</p>
<p>
  <em>Pendragon!</em>
</p>
<p>Kanen felt the full wrath of Prince Arthur’s hurt.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>
  <em>I know magic when I see it. One of you made that happen.</em>
</p>
<p>A long pause.</p>
<p>
  <em>Arthur…</em>
</p>
<p>No. No, no…surely not. Arthur braced himself for the reality that he was about to face. He braced himself to look into those sad blue eyes and say, in his most formal and emotionless tone, that he would sentence Merlin to death for the crime of sorcery. But the moment never came, and Arthur found himself pushed aside as the sickening thud of a crossbow bolt meeting flesh rang in his ears.</p>
<p>It all happened so quickly from there. Will was carried inside and laid on a table, struggling for breath and wincing with every small movement of his body. Arthur’s hands roamed restlessly, not having the faintest idea what to do to help this man, his best friend’s best friend, who was rapidly losing blood and gritting his teeth against the pain. Merlin’s hands were more sure, making certain Will was comfortable and trying to stem the bleeding.</p>
<p>
  <em>That’s twice I’ve saved you. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Twice?</em>
</p>
<p>And just like that, Arthur understood. He knew before Will even said it aloud – Merlin hadn’t been the sorcerer, of course he hadn’t. Merlin would never have betrayed him like that. It had been Will, stood next to Merlin, that had summoned the wind that drove away Kanen’s men.</p>
<p>Yet he still felt like he was addressing Merlin when he assured Will he wouldn’t punish him. He wanted Merlin to know, to understand – this man may have committed a crime, but he was Merlin’s friend and Arthur wasn’t so cruel as to pass judgement on a dying man.</p>
<p>
  <em>Do what you can for him. </em>
</p>
<p>Merlin was visibly close to tears as Arthur left the barn, head spinning.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The heat of the pyre was harsh against both their faces as they stood together. The other villagers of Ealdor stood behind them, as if they could feel the grief radiating from Merlin and worried they might catch it themselves. Merlin’s eyes had been red from crying when he had arrived silently at Arthur’s side, and Arthur had tried to comfort him with a hand on his shoulder. Merlin had flinched away and moved to light the pyre.</p>
<p>Now, Arthur found himself saying the words before he could stop them. He had to know, had to hear it from Merlin that he hadn’t betrayed him. It was the only way he could reassure himself that he hadn’t made some terrible mistake in trusting Merlin.</p>
<p>
  <em>You knew he was a sorcerer, didn’t you? That’s what you were going to tell me. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes. He was. </em>
</p>
<p>Arthur breathed a sigh of relief, satisfied that the only lie Merlin had told was a lie of omission for the sake of his friend. Vulnerability gone and rapidly replaced by confidence, Arthur’s tone became snappier as he continued.</p>
<p>
  <em>You know how dangerous magic is. You shouldn’t have kept this from me Merlin. </em>
</p>
<p>And with that, Arthur strode away.  </p>
<p>How little he knew of the pain that now seared through Merlin’s already painful chest as he listened to Arthur’s retreating footsteps and reminded himself that no matter how much he wanted to, Arthur could never be trusted. Arthur would never understand.</p>
<p>It was only his mother’s words that sent him back to Camelot at all.</p>
<p>
  <em>You have to go, Merlin. You belong at Arthur’s side. I’ve seen how much he needs you. How much you need him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You’re like two sides of the same coin. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! If you enjoyed this – yay! Please feel free to leave constructive feedback in the comments, I’d love some independent advice on my writing style etc! Also I’m currently writing a full-length modern-day ‘Arthur returns’ fic (with an actual plot, plenty of Merthur feels and fluff and maybe some smut if I can ever work out how to write those kinda scenes) and will hopefully be publishing on here when its ready so if you enjoyed this work pls do come back and read that too 😊 Much love!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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